Terrible things
by sinkintome
Summary: Son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things.


Nathan lay on the child sized bed and held his son in his arms, trying to get him off to sleep. The 4 year old looked up at him and stared with his big, bright blue eyes up at his father. "Tell me about Mommy?" He asked with hesitation. Nathan didn't really talk about Audrey to anyone. It was painful enough keeping it at the back of his mind, talking about it made the whole ordeal seem real. At least in his head he could pretend he was fine, it was all just in his head. He looked down at those pleading eyes. It was time he came to terms with it all.

He took a deep breath, and licked his lips. He wrapped his arms tighter around the toddler and closed his eyes before taking one last breath.

"By the time I was twenty five, I'd give anything to fall in love truly. It was all I could think. That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams. The most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen..."

"_What are you staring at?"  
"Huh?"  
"Stop staring at me!"  
"I'm not! I was, staring out the window! It just looked like I was staring at you!"  
"Nathan Wuronos, you are the worst liar in the history in mankind!"  
"I am not!"  
"Okay calm down, just stop, it makes me nervous!" Audrey laughed, getting back to the paperwork they were supposed to be doing before noticing Nathan was at it again. "Okay, that's it! Stop it!"_

_Nathan considered arguing back, but realized he wouldn't get anywhere. "Fine, you caught me that time." Nathan went back to work, when this time Audrey stopped to stare at him._

"_Can I tell you a wonderful thing?" She said, entwining her hands and leaning her chin on them, keeping a straight back and looking up right into Nathan's eyes with a childish grin upon her face. "Uh, okay?" Nathan laughed.  
"I know I shouldn't say this, and correct me if I'm wrong. But I can tell by your eyes, that you're in love with me."  
"Just by my eyes? Some talent you've got there Parker!"  
"That's it!"  
"Hey, I'm sorry!" He smiled, pulling his partner in close, leaning his head down to kiss her._

"What did she look like?"  
"Your Mom? She had the most beautiful blonde hair I'd ever seen, and the way it glistened in the sun and blew in the wind was enough to take your breath away. Compared to her eyes, nothing shined quite as bright. She was perfect. Every time I look at you, I can see her. You've got her eyes and her personality, she liked adventure. Anywhere there was trouble, you could guarantee you'd find her there."  
"Did you love her?"  
"Very much. We didn't always see eye to eye, but we loved each other more than anything in the world."

"_Parker?"  
"Nathan, it's half past eleven. This better be important."  
"Wrap up warm, and grab all your alcohol. I'll be there in ten."  
"Nathan!" Audrey tried to yell down the phone, but it was too late. He'd already hung up. She reluctantly got out of bed and did as she was told._

"_Nathan, where are we going?"  
"You'll see."  
"It's the middle of the night, where could we possibly be going?"  
"You'll see!"  
"If you say, 'you'll see' once more, I swear to god, I will kill you!" Nathan simply laughed in response. Audrey didn't seem amused at first, but he broke her down and they ended up hysterically laughing the majority of the journey, the kind of laughing where you end up forgetting the original reason for the laughing, you just carry on anyway._

_Most of the time they had too much to drink. They lay up on the ledge and laughed at the starts whilst sharing everything. "Yeah, when I was eighteen, it was prom night. I asked Hannah Driscoll, her father said no. We ignored him, and came up here to watch the meteor shower."  
"And?"  
"And, meteor showers are better naked." He laughed. "Meteor shower was my idea, the rest was totally hers!" He tried defending himself.  
"That better not be why you dragged me up here, because I don't fancy dying of hypothermia because you want to get lucky!" _

_They were both too young to notice, and too dumb to care. Their love was a story that couldn't compare to anything else. "Parker?" Nathan yawned. "Can I tell you a wonderful thing?"  
"Mhmm." Audrey murmured, snuggling closer into Nathan's arms.  
"I made you a present." He pulled a small box out of his pocket. A box wrapped in brown paper with a bow made from string tied around it. Audrey delicately opened the small box as Nathan continued to talk. "You know that I love you. Will you marry me?" Nathan asked as she opened the box, revealing a simple ring._

"What was the wedding like?" The boy questioned.  
"We married in Haven. We wanted something quiet and personal. We invited a few close friends, and Married on the beach. She made me wear a suit. She didn't go all out on the dress; it again was something nice and simple, just a plain white summer dress. She didn't look that different than usual, but she was the most beautiful I'd ever seen her. I knew right there and then that it was meant to be. We celebrated all night at the Gull, but being cops we couldn't afford to take a vacation. We didn't mind all that much, as long as we had each other."

"_Okay, just be cool. There's no way you're pregnant. Nope, no way." Audrey paced around the tight enclosed space of the bathroom she was currently hiding in. "I swear to god, if Nathan got me pregnant, I'll, I'll… Oh god. Please, I will give up sex and coffee and chocolate! Oh god." The pacing continued along with the comments of disbelief. She was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Parker? You gonna come out of there sometime today?"  
"I can't."  
"If you don't open the door, I'll do it myself."  
"Nath-."  
"Five, four, three, two-."  
"Fine! Just give me five minutes, I'll be out then, I promise!"_

_She looked at the tests. All three of them, lying there, all with little blue plus'. She always pictured this moment as being something beautiful. But that was before her life became what it was now. The troubles, her history, her job. She could never raise a child on top of every burden she was already carrying. She wanted a family with Nathan; she wanted them to grow old together with 2.5 kids. But that was always a fantasy, the life they lived could never allow for something like that to happen._

_Nathan was over the moon. He didn't think about every single detail in their lives that could cause this to go horribly wrong. A child. He was going to be father. Unlike Audrey's reaction, Nathan thought of hope. Something he had little of lately. He didn't think of the troubles, or his history, he didn't think of his job either. He thought of how great of a dad he would be, and how Audrey would be an amazing mom. He thought about them all growing old together, he thought about doing right to his child the wrongs his father did to him. _

_As time went by, Audrey stopped worrying and warmed to the fact they were going to do this. They were going to raise this child together. Their child. They decorated the nursery, and planned names. They finally agreed on Juliette if it was a girl and Jared if it was a boy. Nathan wanted Christian, but Audrey's happiness was more important than getting his own way._

_Jared Christian Wu__o__r__nos, was born on 15__th__ June at 4:27 am. Weighing 6lbs exactly, with a full head of black hair. That was the first time Audrey had ever seen Nathan cry. _

"You were gonna call me Juliette?" Jared laughed, wrinkling up his nose as he did.  
"Hey, if you misbehave I just might change your name to Juliette!"  
"I'll be good daddy! I promise!" The young boy smiled, bearing his gap filled mouth.  
"Your mom was scared to death of the concept of you. But as soon as her eyes locked with yours that day you were born, I was completely okay with her falling in love with another boy; because I knew in that instant that I loved you exactly the same as she did. But son, I'm only telling you this, because life can do terrible things. You'll learn one day, and I hope and I pray that god will show you differently."

"_Right have fun, I won't be back too late, I just need to sort this job out. I'll see you later, love you both." Audrey smiled, kissing both Nathan and her eleven month old son before leaving._

_She'd been feeling off for a few months now. Dizzy spells, loss of appetite, severe pain that she couldn't explain to name a few things she was experiencing. But she just put it down to the stress of the job wearing her out. She was heading home after a very long and exhausting night when it happened. _

_Nathan got the call at around half past midnight. The call that turned his life upside down. He knew there were risks with the job, but he always saw Audrey as his rock. The one who would always be there to guide him when he got lost. He rushed to that hospital without a thought in his mind apart from 'Audrey'. She'd collapsed in the middle of the road, someone found her and brought her in. They wouldn't share anything with Nathan over the phone._

"_I'm here for my wife." He shouted breathlessly to the receptionist, badge in one hand and baby in the other. When he got to her it was like he was in a different reality, or at least in the wrong room. The woman lying in that bed looked so different from his Audrey. She looked pale, lifeless and helpless. His Audrey was a trooper. "Oh baby." He whispered, sitting down next to her, holding back the tears. _

_She opened her eyes, the bright blue of the iris' outshining the dark circles surrounding them. "Can I tell you a terrible thing?" She croaked out.  
"No." He whispered. "Nothing terrible is going to happen to you. You're going to get better, we're going to get through this and we're going to grow old together, the three of us." Nathan protested. "It seems that I'm sick, and I've only got weeks. I don't want you to get sad, I don't want you to cry because you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."_

"She died a few weeks later. I wasn't there. I was too late. When I got there, I planned on seeing my wife, telling her how much I loved her, but instead it was like my entire world had been turned upside down and put into slow motion because in the few seconds it actually took for me to drop to the ground on my knees, it felt like a lifetime. I fell too fast for them to catch me, but in my eyes I was falling for years." Nathan looked down to see his son peacefully curled up in his arms. "Just don't fall in love, there's too much to lose. And if you're given the choice then I am begging you to choose to walk away and don't let it get to you. Because I couldn't bear to see the same happen to you. And son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things.

* * *

very heavily inspired by the song 'terrible things' by mayday parade, i hope you all like it!


End file.
